I Quit

A friend of mine has quit her job many times over, in writing, verbally, and yet, every time I see her she feels the need to say it again- I quit. Today I say I quit the wedding racket- no more commercial white and sleepless nights over how the party will turn out. That’s not who I am. I am quitting my job as well, and the state of California, also being single, my computer, my DVD player, come August my cell phone, and then, I quit the country. And then there is Jane, who, after six years of fighting cancer with teeth bared, holding a cup of tea and distributing shortbread all the while, finally kicked up her heels and said I quit, too. After I quit vomiting from the stomach flu, I called to cancel our meeting, knowing that a silly little stomach flu paled in comparison to her particular bout with chemo, but that I couldn’t make it, nonetheless. “She is sleeping,” her husband said. I never saw her again. Her son, my student, will graduate from the 8th grade this year. In trying to think of something to say at this graduation, I feel so young. They are just beginning, just breaking forth into who they are, who they want to be, what they will be. How does one make sense of a life but to live it? I feel that I, too am just stepping forth, onto a different cog in this wheel, a few steps ahead of them, a few steps behind Jane. And that’s that. A few steps. So I quit, and in so doing, I begin.