Wednesday, May 28, 2008

"Phoenix Rising; Dancing Cycles of Death and Rebirth"

Session 1:
I couldn't lay them down. I was holding these small fragile birds under may arms, in between my ribs, kittens in my belly, and as much as I knew it was causing me pain, I couldn't let them go. One by one they separated from me, but were attached, as if I was letting them out on a leash to look at them. As they moved from my body they morphed, a bird became a frog with a human face, a kitten a small troll. All lined up they stared up at me with big eyes, pity, curiosity. I gathered them back into me and continued to dance, knowing full well the entourage of grief I kept stored under the skin.

Session 2:
I received an email: "Dear Dancers, Tomorrow is a good day to die!" Out of breath, I tried to push it away, jerking in my body, the exercise weird and esoteric, yet at the same time scary. "Imagine your systems shutting down". When I reached the point at which I was lying on the floor "dead" I was acutely aware of my heart beating against my chest wall, reverberating on the wooden floor, my chest rising and falling."and when you feel the spark of life, begin to move." so I did, rising from the floor slowly at first, then more quickly, vigor! life! joy!

Session 3:
One by one, we dance our death. We dance to emptiness, with others watching on, witnessing, waiting. One by one we are shrouded and carried through the room. One by one, we emerge from the shroud, a brilliant fluttering of life encased in white sheets that eventually float around the room like wisps of clouds, or even wings.

Session 4:
I dance with all of those children I have created in my mind, and then I begin to let them go. At first, one by one, then they fly away from me in droves, flocks bursting forth from beneath my arms, my hands, my heart, until finally, they are gone, and I fly, too.